Here I am, Send me!
Send me? Like where? Like anywhere? I knew it was a risky prayer, but it resonated in my heart. So, I stopped praying for everything i thought I needed in my life and started praying God would use my life in whatever way He needed to. The He would send me somewhere.... or keep me at the job i loved. And I meant it!
I did pray that prayer alot... and my life had changed alot. I went on a missions trip to Mexico. Knew I was suppose to live in Mexico... and finally put in my application. I remember sitting in AWE after I finally committed... wondering what the heck i just did. Because it was Mexico. It was far away from everyone i loved... different then anything I have ever known. Then I remember what I told God. I still meant it. I never asked God to make my life easy, or totally safe... although i have been tempted! I told him to send me where ever He needed me.
What I didn't think when I asked God to send me... was that He was going to take me completely out of my comfort zone... and leave me there. This place has been a mash up of SO many things for me.... opportunity, desperation, fear, hope... a place where I have really had to depend on God--- more then I have EVER before (have you ever had to learn a new language and a new culure?). A place of brokeness. A place of restoration (in a lot of different ways).
And even though I have thought a few times about giving up and moving back to Nebraska. Everytime, i have realized that would just be the easy way out. Even though there are days when I am homesick. And even though sometimes I have wondered why I ever prayed that prayer....
Mexico is home now. Mexico is where my heart is. Mexico is amazing, fun, new. I would never change the last 13 months for anything. I know i have even more experiences here to come, I know God is going to not only use this place to change me but use me in this place as well. I can't wait!