Loneliness

**Before I wrote this, i questioned if i should. I don't 

intend to be negative. I love living in Mexico. I would't trade it for the world. 

But you know, im human. And maybe my experiences 

will make someone else not feel ..... alone?**

I think that loneliness is maybe one of the biggest things missionaries face (maybe more so in the single missionaries).  You tend to feel some sort of isolation and it is almost avoidable when you move away from your home country.

I think loneliness, at least for me, has phases. Each phase a little different.

--When you first get to a new country, unless you know the language... you don't understand the languages going on around you. It is a weird feeling. You can't, at some point, help but wonder WHAT you are doing there.

--There are times when you have friends from your new country, you still don't feel like you completely fit (Go figure right, my skin isn't even the right color... let alone my home culture). It doesn't matter how much you love to learn about the culture it is still different.

--There are times when you want nothing to eat EXCEPT something from a restaurant from your home town. But, i do have to admit, this doesn't happen often to me. Have you ever eaten Mexican food. SO good!

--There are times when you realize nearly every person around you is married. Are they still your friends? YES! But, you feel like you are interrupting their family time when you go over.

--The times when you go BACK to the country you are from and things are different. You still have the same friends... but your life has moved on and so has theirs.

I could go on... there are probably a million examples of time when you (or at least I have) feel a little lonely. My first two years, I was fortunate. I had a friend, an american friend. It was truly a gift from God that Tiffany and I got along so well. We did all ministry stuff together, were there for each other through the ups and downs, learned a lot about the culture together, traveled near and far together. A companion. We are still great friends but now (at least for now) we live in different countries.

Because I can speak the language (mostly), have a friends base here (i live in a great community of people), and I know how to get around... I know that I will be taken care of. I know if i have any issue any one of the ladies would drop everything to help me.

There are still times of feeling completely alone.

There is that want to have someone who understands where you come from, the same stage of life, someone to share the experiences/travels with and someone who is navigating the culture with you. For most missionaries... thats a spouse. But for the single missionary... sometimes it is something that does not exist.

I really don't want to do three things.
1. down play the role of a single missionary. I can do SO much more then I would be able to do if I was married with a family.
2. I don't want you to think I (or single missionaries) am always lonely. Because the truth is that it does not hit me very often.
3. Or think I do not have people in my life, because I do. I am blessed with friends- near and far.

The last few weeks... I have felt lonely.

I rest on the fact that God is always with me. That He loves me, knows me, and hears the tears.

quick update!

Right now we are just in the normal day to day things. Bible studies, youth group, community center classes and activities, hanging out with people and just living life here in Mexico have been the norm.   Which is good, although crazy busy, it has been good to have a "sort of" routine for a few weeks. 

We did have a few days with some Camino Global people. 

Church has been packed, and we are *maybe* meeting at the new site this next week! Awwww some space to breath! Rod put together a blog about our progress!

Youth group is going great. We are studying some apologetic type stuff normally. But last sunday we had some visitors. David, from Camino, shared from the Word. We also had a group from YWAM Mexico City come and share their stories (and a little promotion). 

I am in the middle of planning a lot of stuff with the youth (which include the interns) in the next few months, stay tuned!

We are also finishing the leader study soon, and I may be starting a new study or two in April.

And the community center has a mere few weeks left before our closing ceremony (for this block of classes). 

Also coming up...

- Easter Egg hunt

- Trip to camp for the MK retreat

-Trips

and so much more ---- I can not ruin ALL the surprises! ;)

Orphanage Video

Here is a little video of the orphanage trip.

Orphanage.

Yesterday the youth had the opportunity to go to an orphanage in Puebla to hang out with the kiddos for a few hours.
They put together a skit, craft and snack with Daniel and the Lions Den story in mind. And they played a ton of games.
I am very proud of them and the work they put into this trip (meetings and practices). They are also very grateful for the opportunity they had. It was life changing for some of them!

Needless to say, they want to return. I am going to rest a little first!

The first few moments.

The other day we picked up Jessica from the airport. She is going to be with us for a year. It is exciting to see God bringing people to our little corner of the world.

Mayra and I were talking about what it is like to come here for a more than a little mission trip, but to live here.

I remember, although a lot of the first couple weeks are a complete blur to me, my feelings that day. Some friends took me to the airport. There were tears... although none of us cried until we parted ways. Knowing it would be at least a year before we saw each other face to face.

I had sent my dog the day before (which is nerve racking enough), so, I was always constantly worried about her and how she was doing. And after I had my bags checked and was at my gate I remember "well, no turning back now".

And then I got to Mexico City. I found my luggage and not my dog. Yep, i didn't even know enough Spanish to find my poor dog. And I ended up waiting what seemed like days for someone to pick me up. That is when I began to worry. What the heck was i doing? This is really what God wants me to do? I will never make it here. I can just buy a plane ticket and return to my home, my normal. I can just visit right?

Well I am happy to report... I survived the first couple days. I did more than that, I decided to stay here a long time! =0) It wasn't always easy. I remember almost being in tears the first time I watched a movie in Spanish because I understood nothing. I missed the people at home. I missed the convince of stuff in the states. But, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. God has changed me, used me, and continues to challenge me. I hope I have made as much of an impact here as this place has made on me (although i doubt it).

I hope Jessica can say she has had an equally impactful time after her year!

By the way, we have broke her into the crazy mexican way of getting things done here yesterday. =0)

SNOW! oh and back in Mexico!

Here I am, neglecting my poor blog again.

I do have a little excuse, I was stuck in Virginia! Its great for a Nebraksa girl to see snow! =0) But over two feet is a little excessive when i have a plane to catch! Whatever, I thought it was beautiful!

Ok, gearing up for a lots happening this week. Classes, english tutoring, bible studies, getting ready to take the youth to an orphanage on Saturday, bible studies, getting Jessicas house read for her thursday arrival.... etc etc! 

Rod wrote about a meeting he has on friday, please be praying about that! Some fun things coming your way from here!

just a week.

This week was another fun week in the community center. Lots o people in all the classes. I definitely think this is one of our best sets of classes yet. English, keyboarding, guitar, kids craft, baking, country dance, exercise and soccer.... so much fun!

At some point this week, I think it was tuesday... we went to a local school and helped a little with the english classes. Topic this time was restaurant service. Rod did a great job making all the Americans hungry by talking about foods found on a US menu!

I felt like I spent a lot of time waiting this week. Waiting in line, waiting at the dentist office, waiting for the trash truck, waiting for the water man... waiting, waiting, waiting... and really not getting a whole lot done. But, sometimes, that is life here. 

Yesterday my house got filled up with wheelchairs again. 20 more to be exact. Rod just posted about that, so read it! 

Last night we had to say goodbye to our intern who has been with us about 3.5 weeks. Anson is the most patient math teacher EVER. He tutored math in english for Danny Fry and in Spanish for a hand full of others. He also taught Keyboard and English classes with the same amount of patience.

Anson headed to Puebla this morning but not before a little excitement! On the way there my car decided to stop working. Nothing like breaking down on a major highway while people are going 100mph. But a nice guy ended up stopping behind me, told me it was my fuel pump (had that replaced a week or two ago) and pushed my car back to Rod's house. 

The crazy thing about this is, I knew something was going to happen, I just had a feeling. I went and got extra money out for the trip to Puebla "just to be prepared". Thank goodness I did!

I think I need to buy a new(er) reliable car.

I hate to leave you all, my faithful five readers. But i need to clean, pack and walk the dogs. I leave at 4:30 tomorrow morning for Virginia. If you are at Liberty University, come check out the Camino Global booth, we would love to see you there!